Most people will be familiar with the concept of a walk of shame. It describes the homeward journey the morning after making a bad decision where you’ve ended up in someone else house, and presumably bed. A walk of shame is visible, usually signified by night-club attire before lunchtime, and public.

This is not the only way that we signify our shame publicly. The word of shame, should, often passes our mouths or thoughts. Usually when we use should in referring to ourselves, for example “I should be able to do this…” or “I should have remembered…”, we are signifying our shame about ourselves. When we use it about others, such as our children, for example” He should know…”, we are signifying that we are ashamed of them.

Often we believe we or others should know how to do something, or about something, but we don’t. Instead of beating yourself us, why don’t you identify the lacking skill and work on it? Simply because it’s not that easy.

I think it was best said by the writers of The Wire:

“Shame is some tricky shit, ain’t it? Makes you feel like you want to change, and then beats you back down when you think you can’t.”
Season 4, Episode 13